TO LOVE AND TO HATE

In the days of yore, when our

Love was young and new,

You were it all for me, everything,

You did then was funny and fun

You were so considerate of me

Everything single time felt like a

Beautiful sunset....

But time, that insatiable murderer

Of all that is joyous, the rude

Teacher and curer of all fevers,

He finally caught up with us and so hard he did

Hit us with reality in the face.

Today, I know and feel that love is never enough

 Love is never there to stay and where it is,

So will hate languish and wait patiently,

Assured of its victory regardless of when.

For once, you looked at me with love laden eyes,

And oh, how I bloomed inside, lending a guilty

Glow to my skin!

How I believed that I was extraordinary!

Yet now, with eyes full of hate you

Behold me as though I were commonplace

And for that, I endeavor and despair in one.

A cold fear runs in me, turning into cold

Impotent ash where your words once set me Aflame.

I want to save what we had, to hang onto it and laugh one more Time

It's the same fear that warns me, implores me to Run,

That feebles my heart

That scolds me like an irate mother, arguing that I am

Doing too much

That it's my heart I am wearing too

Close on my sleeve....

Still, I have you and you me,

To love and to hate until failing to try does us apart.

Counting the years gone by, still counting

Still searching for where the fault lies loosened

So I would tighten with my apologies

If there could be enough to satisfy thee.

Were you the same queen I vowed to?

That even death never tore us apart?

Where have you gone to?

Where are you?

You seem closer yet far away than I can feel

Where is you-the then you?

You were sweet and humble

Quiet but lively

But time, now your insatiable murderer

After granting you your heart desires

To be lavishly wedded

Your sweetness and humility,

Wore away like your daily face powder.

I am sure it was never in your ability-

It was all a smoked screen.

The love the sweet names that you called

And you expect me to love you like never

When you have decided to grow horns

When you have become bigger than myself?

I am sick and tired of your repetitions

When all that I say to you is nothing but trash

Yet you expect me to continue

 To love you in a rush;

Treating you like a princes and never bash?

Never!

I was blinded by love

I lost my sight so I could not perceive

The beasts in you.

But ah!

But now I can see

With my vague lens of regret but

Still, I have you and you me,

To love and to hate until failing to try does us apart.

---Namugga Shamim, Fampah Coyish---

© By Fampah Coyish-Awoken By Poems 2015